


The Heart Is Hard To Translate (It Has a Language Of Its Own)

by Anika_Ann



Series: Damned (sidefics and codas) [2]
Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: (attempted anyway), Awkward Conversations, F/M, First Time, Fluff, Jesus Vera Shut Your Stupid Mouth, Matt is Ridiculously Noble, Misunderstandings, Not So Platonic Relationship, Or Maybe Just Ridiculous, Pie To The Rescue, Screw Physiology, Smut, Too Much Talking, Which Is Not As Dirty As It Sounds, heightened senses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-27
Updated: 2017-10-27
Packaged: 2019-01-25 06:14:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12524852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anika_Ann/pseuds/Anika_Ann
Summary: Or the one in which Matt finally got coffee at Vera’s. Yes, it’s an euphemism. Vera never has coffee in her apartment.Set during/after epilogue of Damned If I Do





	The Heart Is Hard To Translate (It Has a Language Of Its Own)

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, this had been hidden over a month in the darkest corner of my computer screen, unfinished, and I’m still not sure I like it now when it finally is. I’m terrible at this - it’s a work in progress, alright. I posted this just because I wanted this story to feel complete before I… you know. Start posting the stuff which is mostly in my head for now. Damned If I Don’t.
> 
> Title from Florence and The Machine - All This and Heaven Too

He returned at like four a.m., falling to Vera’s bed heavily, waking her up for what could be few seconds – she kissed his temple as a greeting and fell asleep in no time. Waking up again around half past ten, putting her glasses on, she could see a path of his clothes as he was stripping while making his way from the fire escape to her bathroom.

In attempt to make her flat less of a mess, she supported herself on her elbows to get the crutches and follow the aforementioned path; Matt’s arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her back into lying position before she even stood up.

“Where are you going?” he murmured sleepily, hugging her from the behind firmly, pulling her closer to his body, still halfway to truly waking up.

“To clean up your mess…?” Vera offered innocently, torn between the urge to get up and hide in his arms.

“You shouldn’t be getting out of bed. It was the doctor’s orders,” he whispered to her ear, persuading her to stay, the Devil leading her astray, discouraging her from doing anything useful.

It was absolutely _not_ the doctor’s orders and her leg didn’t really hurt – it was more like an uncomfortable pulling when she moved the wrong way. And it wasn’t her fault she basically hadn’t walked since getting shot – whenever Matt could, he just... carried her wherever she needed to go (“You should be resting. Let it heal.” – “Hypocrite. I can walk by my-“ – he usually shut her up with a kiss, the argument ending with his victory).

“It was _not_. I’ve got crutches for a reason…” she protested as he kissed the side of her neck, making her shiver, smashing the last pieces of will she had. It wasn’t like anyone would see that mess, right? It could wait. At least for another hour or so…

“Forget the creations of pure evil. You’re not going anywhere any time soon.”

“Come on,” she laughed. “I would _die_ _of_ _boredom_ if I had to stay in bed whole day!”

His body tensed before relaxing again. She felt his lips on her neck, smiling, drawing a path higher to her ear.

“What if I stay with you and think of a way to entertain you,” he whispered, sounding very awake all of sudden, tone suggestive. He nibbled at her earlobe.

Vera’s heart hammered against her chest, decoding the meaning of his words. She sighed contentedly as one of his hands slid under her t-shirt, fingers tracing the skin on her side with the lightest touch, making it burn hot under them.

“I’d like to see you try,” she breathed, carefully, not sure what he _did_ mean by that. They had been here before – he liked to tease her, torture her, give her false hope, but they had never crossed that line. Not yet. Which… ugh.

His fingers stopped as if he sensed her distrust, which he probably could. He bit her earlobe provocatively once again. “Oh, you _will_.”

Vera didn’t have the slightest problem with it. Escaping his arms with a little effort, she turned around to face him, examining his expression. He observed her nose, eyes still sleepy.

But there was something in them. A spark. The same spark Vera had seen fading away when he had decided he wouldn’t sleep with her after the benefit just to prove a point. Jolt of electricity ran through her body at the memory of his lunges and in anticipation of that happening again. They had been so close that night. Her fingertips tingled, because she saw it now, she read it in his face, that this might be it. He actually might be living up his promise _now_.

 _“You better start then,”_ she encouraged him, low, barely audible. She saw the spark glow brighter before he took off her glasses and placed his hand on the back of her neck, pulling gently. His lips attached to hers, not kissing.

“Do you think you can take it?” he asked, voice as low as hers, but hoarse – with sleep, with _something_. The vibration of his lips, his tone – it made her shiver. Did he really need another clue? Another permission? She could give him one.

Her eyes closed, lips still connected, she whispered: “I’m willing to give it a try.”

His lips moved against hers cautiously as if he did it for the first time. He did it again. And again. Just a passing touch, an elementary school kiss to your first crush. She answered the same way, tentative.

Was he teasing her? And again. Again. _Yes, he was_. She didn’t like it much. She wanted him to be a little more invested in what he was doing. And _again_.

Her impatience growing, she sucked his upper lip experimentally, waiting for his reaction. He smiled. _He fucking smiled_ and his fingers stroked the back of her neck lightly.

“Impatient,” he mocked her with no other reaction. The movement of his lips didn’t change at all.

She snapped her eyes open and withdrew a little, watching his overweening grin with a frown. It felt like… like he _wasn’t_ _interested_ , but was definitely royally amused by her desire. Was it… was it like that? Was it the reason why they had never… _finished_ what they started? The only times things had gotten quite heated had been when he had been trying to prove something. Bursts of emotion. Heat of the moment. The idea was like a cold hand squeezing her heart and making it ache. Her stomach sunk.

Matt must have heard it somehow, because his eyes opened too, his grin gone. “You okay? Your heartbeat is up. Breathing’s too shallow and fast. Not in a good way.”

Vera let out a blend of a laugh and a huff. Sure. Matt would notice that. He was good at noticing things like that; the other things… not always.

She opened her mouth and closed it again. He frowned as well and stroked her cheek with his thumb.

“Vera, what is it?” He seemed to be quite awake now.

He was caring. He was gentle. He was so tender she would cry. But… loving? She blinked furiously, when she realized there were actual tears gathering in her eyes. _Jeez, Veronika. You’re overthinking things. Stop freaking out._

Matt’s face was alarmed. “Vera, sweetheart? What is it?”

 _Sweetheart_. Since when she was a ‘sweetheart’? (Except the one time in a restaurant, when they we’re trolling the waiter anyway.)

She shook her head. “It’s nothing. It’s just stupid ideas popping up in my head…” That wasn’t a lie. It was stupid, right?

He kissed her _forehead_ as if it could make the thoughts go away. She closed her eyes and exhaled shakily.

“Like what?” he encouraged her softly, his nose caressing hers.

 _Oh my god. I am not asking him that._ “Do you want to-” No. She just couldn’t. It was too embarrassing. And she had no idea what she would do if he said _no_.

Matt leaned back slightly, examining her, patiently waiting for her to finish. Vera shook her head again.

“ _Vera_.”

She huffed. “Do you ever want to sleep with me or not?”

There. She said it. She bit her tongue right after she did so. _Šmarja_.

His eyes popped and his mouth formed a shocked _o_. He seemed to freeze in that position, not moving an inch. A statue of pure surprise.

She wanted to take it back before he could really think about his answer. “Forget-“

“Excuse me?” he choked out, coming back to life, blinking furiously, the hand from behind her back disappearing. “Did you just ask me whether I want to _sleep with you?”_

Well, she couldn’t deny it. She shrugged and observed his honestly baffled expression.

“What kind of a question is that?” he asked incredulously, still blinking like the fact she actually had asked would vanished with the action.

Vera had no idea if he was caught off guard or… busted.

“A simple one? Yes or no,” she offered, mentally crossing her fingers. _God, please. Say yes_. She bit her lip and hesitantly placed her palm over his heart. It was hammering against his chest violently, startled. The _busted_ theory was getting more and more likely.

_Bože, ne._

“ _Yes_ ,” he exclaimed, outraged for some reason. She didn’t feel his heart speed up even more, but that could be because of the chuckle that followed – his chest vibrated with it. He covered her hand with his. “Of course I do! What makes you think-“

“Is it like a… uhm. After-wedding-only thing?” she blurted out when it suddenly hit her. He was catholic. What were the rules? She knew that devoted— _someone_ , she didn’t remember who, her family wasn’t religious at all-

“It’s _absolutely not_ ,” Matt said and sounded actually kinda disgusted by that thought.

Vera’s mind raced again. So why not? Matt Murdock was a freaking enigma. If he was telling the truth, _what was wrong then?_ Was she a crappy kisser or didn’t react how he wanted to? Was there something about her that just turned him off at some point? Something he didn’t want to talk about, because it was awkward? Was he sensing-

“Oh.”

He chuckled in relief. “Yeah. _Oh_.”

“No, I mean… is it about your senses?”

His faced visibly paled, his features hardening  once more.

“What?” he breathed weakly and Vera realized in horror that she was right. There was something wrong with her – and how the hell she should get rid of it? Especially when she had no clue what it was?

“I’ll… I’ll t-take that as a yes.”

His lips were slightly parted and despite not seeing anything, his eyes seemed to be looking for something, his gaze flickering everywhere but at her face. “Vera…”

“Is it… is it something you can smell? Taste? Or touch?” She had no idea what exactly could bother him, but she had to find out, no matter how awkward this was, because, _sweet Jesus_ , she wanted to have sex with him at some point. Soon. “Uhm…hear? Something that just turns you off and I can do something about it? I mean, I get it, okay? It can be gross. You can probably tell what I had to dinner two days ago right now and even though I showered in the evening, you can— _oh my god-_ “  Her cheeks were _burning red_ , her eyes closed along the way, because she couldn’t look at his face anymore.

And his hand covered her mouth. No, she was not about to open her eyes again. Screw him. She wanted this conversation to be over with or even better, to not happen at all, she wanted to stop thinking about this and keep enjoying what he had been offering until now, because it was _everything_ and she was _fucking lucky_ to have him.

“Vera, what the hell are you talking about?” And he sounded so honestly confused she did have to snap her eyes open. He was watching her in awe.

 _“But-“_ she mumbled to his palm and he let go, “but you said it was about the senses, well pretty much confirmed it-“

“And it is, partly,” he agreed and stroked her cheek with her thumb, “but… not like this.”

“Then how?” she burst out before she managed to stop herself. But _good_. The wave of relief that washed over her… didn’t change anything about the fact he would probably still find some things more gross than any ordinary person. _Wonderful_. _See, that’s what you get when dating a superhero._

There was a hint of red colour in his cheeks, replacing the scary paleness. He licked his lips and Vera couldn’t shake off the feeling _he_ was embarrassed now. She was recalling their… moments, trying to figure out in which way he would mind. The idea came with the memory of the first morning they had spent together – the one Nina had brought them pie. Pie he could have smelled through walls, steps he could have heard, maybe sensing Nina’s hesitation…

Was it just too hard (and really, poor choice of words, _so bad_ …) to turn it off? All she could perceive at the moment was him – his lips, his body on hers, all she could hear was their breathing, blood buzzing loudly in her ears… what about him? He must have heard every single person in the building, in their block…

Matt didn’t say a word. So she went for it.

“Is it… is it too hard to tune if out? Everything? The city noise— I’m sorry for being offended that you smelled the pie through the wall and accused you of not paying attention to me the other day. I real-“

And _oh_ , Vera couldn’t talk anymore. He was kissing her. Hand supporting her jaw and lips finally doing something else than those small pecks from elementary school and he sucked her lower lip, so no matter how confused she was, she felt the warm feeling spreading in her chest, butterflies in her stomach, and—and he stopped.

Vera hoped she only whined mentally. Matt leaned back and she opened her eyes again, anticipating him to spill it. His face was welcoming, an open book all of sudden – too bad it was written in another language and she wasn’t able read it. All she could identify was a spark in his eyes – that there was one, anyway – and an inconspicuous smile.

He shook his head. “It’s not that either.”

She huffed and threw her hand in the air in a tiny motion. She couldn’t help it. He caught it, observing it with his sightless gaze, and then he begun to draw small circles in her palm with his other hand. He seemed to be fascinated by it. And Vera _didn’t understand a thing_.

“You want to know?” he asked absently and Vera wanted to scream _YES_ so loudly everyone in ten miles radius would hear it. She rather didn’t talk at all and nodded.

“It’s all of what you said, partly. But Vera… you don’t understand.” _Yeah, what else is new?_ “You don’t understand what is like to be around you. Let’s go with the pie. See, you think that I… still sensed too much of my surroundings despite being so close to you-“

Vera felt a sting of guilt as she nodded again.

He chuckled, sounding delighted. “It’s the other way around. I know it’s hard to imagine, but I only smell it when she was on _this_ floor, when she was almost _knocking on your door_. I was so enchanted in your… you, that I haven’t notice earlier. I just haven’t sense it, at all. Do you have _any idea_ how lost I have to be for not being aware of anyone baking few apartment buildings away?”

He still didn’t lift his head to her, but she could see his smile widening. And she was listening to him, astonished – once again by his abilities, but even more of what he was saying. It was her turn to blink in surprise, her head spinning from the effort to understand what he was saying. The wheels in her mind were turning so fast and loudly he might hear it.

“O-okay. Okay. That’s… uhm. Okay. What about the other thing? The fact that… uhm. Let’s say you can _sense_ more stuff about me than any other person would. Does that… does that bother you?”

Aaaand they were back in awkwardness. Kill her now. Seriously. _Is it possible to die of embarrassment?_

Matt finally raised his head to face her, smiling brilliantly. “Depends on your definition of _bother_.”

She opened her mouth just to shut it again since she had no idea what to say.

“I’ll tell you.” It sounded more like a warning and she silently freaked out. _Why was he warning her?_

His thumb passes over her lips lightly, his head tilting in his favourite gesture. “I can feel the structure. I can tell I kissed you just two minutes ago, because I left an imprint and a very light scent.” For a short moment his lips met hers frozen in shock. “Like this, I can even taste it. I can taste myself on you Vera. Do you have any idea-“

He withdrew, licking his lips, fingers leaving her hand, running them through her hair, interlacing.

“This morning, I kissed you here,” his other hand went over the small spot on her neck, her earlobe, where he had bit her, “yesterday I carried you and I supported you here, _unintentionally_ touching you here, and here.” His fingers ran across her body and she was realizing he was telling the truth. Whether she remembered it very well or only vaguely, it was all scarily accurate.

Vera couldn’t speak. She observed him in awe, how he frowned with concentration, yet his expression was somehow dreamy.

“It stays there for days. The scent, the impresses, I can feel _me_ all over you for _days_. I can tell where you let me touch you and I want to do it again and again.”

She thought she might suffocate. She couldn’t breathe, her heartbeat once again too loud in her ears. She _knew_ that. She knew Matt had got like super possessive after Alex’s  hands had wandered where they shouldn’t have, leaving marks, _brands_ , but this was something completely different. This was _Matt_ leaving his imprints and he could tell where they had touched _days_ after. How was that even possible?

What he was saying was incredible, _unimaginable_. Yet, there was no way of denying it and she suddenly remembered the late night when she was disappointed it hadn’t come as far as she had wanted.

She carefully took his hand and placed it over her lips. The touch made her body tingle with a feeling she didn’t know so far. “The… the night of the benefit. You… uhm. You kissed me. You went right this way,” she draw the line from her lips over her breasts, to her lower belly, “you stopped here and then you-“ she graciously decided not to mention two other kisses he had placed lower, - “returned the very same path.”

“Yes.”

“But why? I mean, you could have-“

“I told you. _You let me_. Because I know I can. It’s like a… like a territory I conquered, it’s like an invitation, calling out for me, telling me I can,” he explained silently and _holy shit_ , she wanted to tell him that _her whole body_ was his territory dammit, but at the very same time she was so taken aback by his declarations that she just couldn’t.

She couldn’t wrap her mind around it – he always had to conquer some place for the first time and there were moments he didn’t seemed to be _bothered_ by the lack of his imprints, just taking whatever he wanted. And she loved those moments. This wasn’t about his senses – this was about him being ridiculously _noble_. He was _obsessed_ with doing things _right._

But he already moved on. “And I can hear it, Vera. I told you were distracting. I can hear your heartbeat, your breathing, what happens to it when I do this, for example.“

He kissed her somewhere between the side and the back of her neck, his fingers just brushing over her breast and she shivered; it was sending the most electrifying  jolts down her spine and she had to suppress a moan by biting her lip.

Matt whined silently as he pulled back.

“And this. _This_. I can hear it, Vera, whether you are aware of it or not, whether you are trying to repress it or you let it out, _I can hear you_ and _it drives me insane_ , because I could be _listening to it over and over. I want to.”_

And she was busted and _oh my god_ , she had no time to be embarrassed when he caught her lips between his, sucking it hard and she didn’t hesitate to open her mouth for him, because this, this was what she wanted and before their lips had met, she had seen it – she had seen the vivacious spark in his eyes, the glimmer of lust she craved for, because it meant he wanted her and he might wanted her as badly as she wanted him.

Her hands shot up, finding their way under his t-shirt (where the hell had he even gotten it, since when he was sleeping in a _t-shirt)_ , running her fingers over his muscles, wondering if she left her imprint too and she wished she _did_ and hoped the rules didn’t imply to her, even though she could recall quite vividly that she already felt _this_ with her fingers and it was _perfect_. She dug her nails into his side when he bit her lip, lowly moaning into her mouth and it spread the warmest feeling in her belly. _So addictive_.

His hands grabbed her waist firmly, rolling them both over, so she ended up on top of him, his leg wedging between hers, lips never separating. And how could she ever doubt he wanted her too? That was _not_ a phone pressing against her thigh for sure and his hand, greedy fingers slipped under her top, travelling the path they might and might have not discovered before, his other hand slipping under her shorts, squeezing her butt firmly, sighing contentedly. She gasped as he lightly passed across an _unconquered_ territory, just for a second, but she subconsciously leaned her hips against the touch, meeting only his hips instead, sensation thrilling no less. He rolled them back with a quiet growl in the back of his throat, pinning her to the mattress with _every single part of his body_.

His pants had to go. And very, _very_ soon. She gasped into his mouth once again when felling his arousal, rocking against it multiple times, the touch so close, _god, so agonizingly close_ to where it should be. She didn’t bother to supress a single sound this time, his hands squeezing her breast almost painfully at her actions.

“ _Vera_ ,” his voice was dangerous, _devilish_ , and her insides were set on fire at the sound.

When he lifted just slightly, supported himself on his elbows, escaping her,  she followed, hating the idea of losing the contact for only a second, her hand quickly moving to his ass (and why was she even wasting her time with his chest, when something so perfect was in her reach) to keep him close. He buried his mouth to her neck, still withdrawing and making her life miserable.

“Vera, sweetheart, give me a minute to breathe,” he pleaded, his chest vibrating with silent laugh.

She turned her face to him, irritated by his request. “Why?” she whispered to his ear, voice filled with desire he sure couldn’t have heard from her before.

Matt bit her shoulder, almost painfully. “Because if you don’t, we won’t make it to the best part,” he sounded a little desperate, embarrassed and _hell no_ , she stopped any attempts of teasing him, afraid he wasn’t exaggerating – for all she knew, he could be telling the truth.

“ _Thank you_.”

He freed himself from that terrible t-shirt Vera had no idea where had come from, doing her the same favour even when she didn’t ask it – she didn’t protest either; she was all in for losing clothes. She hoped his sweatpants would go next. The view she got was spectacular though, so she gave up her fantasy and paid attention to the _freaking_ muscles on his torso and arms. Šmarja. _Those arms_.

His mouth went to a crusade of exploring her upper body as well, starting on the same spot on her neck, choosing a different path this time. His lips stopped at her nipple, sucking, and she dug her nails into his arms at the shiver it sent through her body, ending in her abdomen, tensing more and more. He kissed his way down and she threw her head back in pleasure as he teased her going over the lower belly over and _over_ , not bothering to continue.

It was _unbearable_. And she hated that she lost the contact with his body; all she could touch now was _his hair,_ which was so not enough, but she interweaved her fingers in it anyway, desiring for _any_ contact. His hands quickly stripped her shorts, his _fucking tongue_ caressing her clit over her wet panties.

“Ježišmarja,” she cursed, shocked and thrilled at the same time, arching against him without intending it, breathing his name right after, wanting to scream.

_What the hell are you doing? Don’t you dare to stop._

“I won’t,” he promised, stripping the last piece of her clothes and did it again; Vera was so lost she had not time to wonder whether she had said it out loud or he had just learnt to read minds along the way.

She let out a content sigh as he did it again and again and _faster_. She grabbed his hair too harsh, pulling him back, because if he did it few times more, they might _wouldn’t make it to the best part_. He didn’t put up any fight, following her unspoken wish, kissing her lips hungrily, tasting like never before.

“Condoms,” he breathed to her mouth between his lunges. She nodded, but didn’t make a move or say a word.

Despite her arousal and much reduced ability to think, one thing was clear as day. She was afraid to ask, to offer, but it was for both of their sakes. He freed her lips so she could speak. She was panting, fighting to find her voice, gulping as she saw his face, his eyes, all screaming for the same thing she wanted.

“Lowest drawer.” He made a move, but she grabbed his hand, not having time to be shy. “But I trust you… if you trust me, we don’t— don’t need it. And if… if what you’re saying is true I have to wonder how much better it will be _for you_ if. _.._. I’m not saying I would exactly mind myself, but with _your_ senses…”

He couldn’t see her face, but she had to look away anyway, diffident, not sure how to-

His lips were suddenly fondling hers with tenderness she hadn’t felt the whole morning, careful fingers sliding over her shoulders, touching her jaw lightly.

 _“Are you sure?”_ he asked so quietly she almost couldn’t hear him.

“Yes,” she breathed back and his grip tightened for a fraction of second, kiss became desperate before regaining control.

“I love you. _So much.”_

Vera smiled contentedly, sliding her hand under the sweatpants, touching him, stroking his length. He moaned into her shoulder, lost in _one single touch_. When she repeated the motion, she got absolutely awestruck at the sound that left his lips. For a short moment she wondered whether he had faked it, brushing her hand over his chest, but his heart was _hammering_ like a drum and he couldn’t fake that and he probably wouldn’t do such thing in the first place. He _was_ incredibly sensitive and it shouldn’t surprise her, he had _told_ her, but holy shit, seeing and _hearing_ in this case was believing. 

She made the right call. Because, seriously, if he reacted like that for a light touch, how would he react to actually sliding into her, moving? _Jesus_.

With newly found confidence, she stripped his sweatpants (god _yes_ , _finally_ ) and her lips found his ear, whispering. “I love you too. You have a promise to live up, you know that, right?”

He gasped, hot breath brushing against her skin, his hand chasing her indecent fingers away, making her frown in disappointment. She liked to feel he wanted her, it made her-

Her thoughts dispread when his lips found hers and at the same time, his thumb fondled her clit, sliding one finger in. She whimpered to his mouth and he immediately used the opportunity to enter it, meeting her tongue, smug satisfaction radiating from him. He moved experimentally and she leaned into the touch, suddenly unable to form a single sentence, despite her lips being free.

“I know,” he hummed lowly, something dark and delicious in the simple two words, rolling off his tongue sweetly. He found the right spot hidden so closely to her entrance another man would probably never find it on his own, but he did, the know-all amazing freak he was, stroking just lightly, teasingly, and she gasped or _something_ , biting her lip immediately, horrified _that_ sound left her mouth. His teeth liberated it from her teeth gingerly and the tremendous contact making her insides burn disappeared. She was too frustrated at the loss to hold the whine back this time. “I intend to keep it.”

Her switched off brain didn’t decoded the meaning of his words until his hand grabbed her hip and he slowly sunk into her, making her breath hitch. _Jesus Christ,_ the sigh of pleasure Matt let out, his shaky exhale tickling her cheek, his fingers digging into her skin. And _holy shit_ , she felt so full.

For several seconds he didn’t move at all, his chest colliding with hers due to his heavy breaths. He felt _so_ _good_ inside her. She was torn between _how the hell did we wait so long_ and _oh my god, so worth the wait._

But Matt was still frozen, muscles tensed as he was supporting himself on one elbow next to her head, other hand clenching her side strongly enough to bruise, his eyes squeezed shut. Vera actually worried.

She carefully moved her fingers from his side to brush his messy hair from his forehead. “You okay?” she whispered quietly and his eyelashes fluttered, his lips spreading into a tiny smile. His burning gaze pinched right to her eyes before he gave her small kiss on her mouth.

“It’s a little… overwhelming,” he admitted, voice barely a whisper, sounding slightly ashamed. He placed a lingering kiss to the edge of her jaw, exactly where he knew she was ticklish. She shivered. “But you feel perfect.”

 _Holy—_ that _tone_. Emotions and desire soaking through every word, ghost of a touch in the corner of her mouth – her heart jumped at that and tried to fight its way out of her chest. Matt might and might not smile at that. It was hard to tell whether he was pleased by her responsiveness or his own sensation. She didn’t give a damn which it was, because he moved cautiously and she closed her eyes, subconsciously leaning her head back as she got stimulated in too many places. He muffled both his and her sigh by attaching their mouths.

His hand drew circles on her side while slowly moving out, so _agonizingly_ _slowly_ , quickly thrusting back and she gasped into his mouth in shock, biting his lip subconsciously when he did it again – and again and again, picking up speed with each thrust, holding her hips on place, hitting another _very right_ spot and she almost cried when he stopped, giving her an apologizing kiss, he sliding out completely. She felt empty and cold all of sudden.

Matt’s hands wandered down to her thighs, his mouth traveling a path down her chest to her navel, looking up to her innocently, silent question in them. She wasn’t sure what he was asking, but she didn’t protest – he kneeled, raising her calves to his shoulders, not hastily, giving her time to escape if she wasn’t in; but yes, _yes_ , she _was_ in. All for it. She helped him and a ghost of a smile appeared on his crimson lips, beautifully swollen, before he placed several kisses down her inner thigh, sucking a small mark where he had kissed her the memorable night of the benefit, creating the same path up on her other leg.

He draw her closer, slipping in with no hesitation this time, soon thrusting hard and deeply, taking and _taking_ , stimulating the only place she wanted, but god, before she squeezed her eyes shut to enjoy the feeling more and arched her back, she saw _him_ throwing his head back as well, _moans_ of pleasure leaving his lips and he grabbed her hip with one hand, the other slightly pushing her legs apart as if he couldn’t help himself, wanting _more_ and she could do that, spreading them wider, she did have her limber and once she let him do that, he thrust harder, something dangerously sounding like _oh god, yes_ escaping him and she couldn’t supress a  gasp, because _holy shit_ that was very deep.

His hand ran over her hip bone in surprisingly gentle touch as if he was apologizing for being so greedy and he slowed down a little, giving her an opportunity to adjust to the new sensation. He traced the line of her leg in fascination, big eyes following the move, looking a little dazed.

“I wanted to do that ever since I saw you doing it in the gym,” he confessed, his voice husky and the revelation sent another wave of pleasure to her insides. She couldn’t help feeling a little proud and smug about it, wanted, _desired_ , pushing herself closer to him, making his fingers dig into her thigh. _“Perfect.”_

And he wasn’t just throwing the word around, he liked this, _liked it a lot_ , because he set up a pace once more, gripping her hips firmly, kept them steady, his breath so fast and harsh she needed to look at him, because she _knew_ – the very next moment, he whimpered, his hand shaky on her skin, his face turned to ceiling, lips parted. She felt him contracting inside her, thrilling sensation, and despite her own desire, so close, _so close_ to finally being put out, she needed a moment to feast her eyes on him, because… _Jesus_ , that view was marvellous and she felt really sorry for not seeing it more sharply. He was completely lost, all tensed muscles and patchwork of scars, damp messy hair and parted lips, trembling in pleasure, still moving tardily. God, she wanted to have this picture carved into her brain forever. Beautiful. _Hers._

And then his eyes caught hers, his gaze burning with intensity, and he slowly slid out, his lips moving alongside her leg, stopping teasingly an inch from her entrance before his freaking _tongue_ touched her clit, two fingers replacing his cock and she clenched the sheets when his fingers and tongue started moving in disconnected synchronicity, smart motions and curves--  she was almost ashamed how quickly that worked for her. He led her through her orgasm with another bruising kiss on her inner thigh, and she was _sure_ it would leave a mark, but she didn’t care, because the most tremendous feeling was running through every single nerve in her body, tingling in her fingertips.

Content smile played on his lips as he straightened, gently putting her hips to more comfortable position than the almost-split she had managed, his hand tracing her side, up, until he hovered over her, his delighted face inches from hers, twinkling eyes trying to find hers. She returned the favour, somehow heavy hands finding his chest, _touching_ him, because before, the view on him had been spectacular, but he had been too far for her liking.  

“I love you,” he breathed, the huff of air tickling her lips and she couldn’t resist the urge to meet them, _tasting_ sex on them, heavy scent around them. Matt obediently – and slowly, _sweetly_ – answered her lunge, fingers interlacing in her hair. His body was still shaking inconspicuously and truth to be told, she was glad she was lying as well, because she wouldn’t be able to make a single step, her knees weak, her legs turned into jello, unable to listen any of her commands.

Good thing she wouldn’t have to leave her bed for _days_. For multiple reasons.

“I love you too,” she whispered to his mouth and he sunk into her lips once more, his own swollen and wet, drinking from hers lazily, his thumb stroking her cheek, humming contentedly.

And then the corners of his mouth twitched, his chest vibrating with silent laugh.

She tensed, her brain rebooting, mind racing; _what_ had she done to make him _laugh?_

He withdrew a little, rolling them to side, still facing her. She frowned at him, watching him bit his cheek from inside as he tried to stop himself from bursting out. He took a calming breath, in and out, throwing covers over them, kissing her forehead, hiding her in his arms and she pecked his collarbone.

Thank god, he was a cuddler – or had been willing to be one. He buried his face in her hair and she felt small lingering kiss.

“I can’t believe you thought I didn’t want to—that I don’t want _you_ ,” he huffed another silent laugh and Vera squeezed her eyes shut, her cheeks flushing. In retrospect, their conversation felt even more awkward. _“Jesus,_ Vera. You’re one of the smartest people I’ve ever met, you’re brilliant, but that was….”

He sounded so smug about it that she had to smack his back to be good to her.

“Matt, we are both adults, we both have _some_ experience and we lasted – _you_ lasted, _a man_ , Matt! – for over two months, despite things escalating rather fast and you spending night with me after our _first date_. I’m sorry I found suspicious that we didn’t make love until today and felt a need to ask you about that.”

 _Ježišmarja_ , she really needed to learn how to _shut up_.

Matt retreated, so he could face her and she saw sparks of amusement in his eyes despite his effort to keep his face serious.

“Well, I hope you got your answer,” he teased her and she gave him an unimpressed look, until he kissed away her pouting. She patted his chest.

“Yeah. I kinda did.” She replaced her hand with her lips, carefully kissing one of his many scars, his breath hitching. Well, _that_ was interesting too, she needed to discover how that worked soon. She looked up again. “Even though I’m not certain I understand. You should tell me again soon. Just to make sure I got it right.”

He smiled brilliantly and she felt his hand on her bottom, the other one sliding down in her hair, grasping them and pulling her into a thirty kiss, licking into her mouth with surprising avarice.

“Eager,” he hummed, the sound coming deeply from his throat, sending her heart racing – he might and might not smile at the fastening. What he definitely _did,_ was letting his fingers wander somewhere she wouldn’t expect them; not so _soon_ again. It was like what, eight minutes? Probably less. She made a startled sound. “I like that.”

Vera had no idea whether he was talking about the sound that left her lips or the _eagerness._ He fondled her experimentally and this time she held back a sigh; she was still oversensitive.

“Told you I can hear that whether you want me to or not,” he growled, his fingers leaving, replaced-

 _“That_ soon?” she gaped incredulously, fairly certain he was somehow kidding her, but he grinned, dangerous and predatory, leading her hips in a right way.

“Like an invitation, calling out,” he reminded her hoarsely, “over and over again…”

Pulling her hair lightly again, their lips collided, together with their bodies meeting in the most intimate way. Nope, not kidding her. No tricks here.

“I’m going to regret ever asking that question, aren’t I?” she gasped as he start moving, satisfied but somewhat shaky smirk on his face being an answer on its own.

“Just trying to keep my promise.”

 _Smart-ass._ He already had. But two could play that game. She grinned on her own.

“Uh-uh. If I remember well, I told you that after _you fuck me so hard I’ll forget my own name,”_ – his lips parted at that, exhaling shakily, and it was _incredible_ it was her fault – “we’ll switch and I’ll be on top. Huh. You think I can handle the split while I’m on top?” she wondered, pretty sure she could handle it, even though if she was being honest, her thigh was kinda sore (bullet wound, dammit, healing, but still).

The face and the choked sound he made were totally worth the muscle ache she had the next day.

And she was right. She did have two bruised marks on her inner thighs – and they weren’t the only ones. She had at least five more and it felt _freaking_ _amazing_.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> So...uhm. Yeah, I’m better at talking (I like to think that I’m not that bad at writing about talking to be precise).


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